Sunday, May 11, 2008

Top Five Reasons Guys Need Bromances

Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. Every guy at one point or another in his life has developed a bromance. Some might call it a mancrush, but regardless of the name it's just something that women may or may not understand. To better explain why the phenomenon of bromances I have put together a top 5 reasons why guys need them. Fellas, you know what I'm talking about, and ladies here's an insight into the male psyche.

5. Pounding it Out

Clandestine Handshakes, "Pounding it Out", Chest Pumps, High Fives, and other hand gestures NEVER get old or cheesy with other guys! Face it, your woman is mannish if she gives you a pound when you see something that you both agree is amazing. I don't know what it is, but guys degenerate into laconic beings when around other guys and express themselves in awkward ways. Ladies this is probably one thing that you shake your head at, but we think is totally awesome.
4. Farting

Disgusting as it may be, but when you are around other guys, the smellier the fart, the more you are respected. You also get extra points for duration of fart, volume, and wet sound (in some circles). I've done internal damage to myself when in mixed company because I didn't want to offend the fairer sex. When you're with dudes, let er rip.

3. Guys Never Get Tired of Sports

They invented ESPN for a reason. Dudes would get together, watch a game, and then say, "Shit! What do we do now?!" Guys will watch any sport when in the company of other dudes. If you add beer, they will never go home. Seriously, that's why they have a million ESPN networks. You can watch hot dog eating contests, Ping Pong, or even the Running of the Bulls and it's all good. Few women can watch sports all the time and be alright with it. Somebody you're in a bromance with would never say to you, "can you turn off the Yankees game, Grey's Anatomy is coming on?"

2. Video games
Dudes like video games, it's a fact. I don't care if you have not played a video game since atari, if other guys are playing games and you pick up the controller it's like taking a hit of crack, you're addicted. Male heaven is as follows: Alcohol, Sports, and Video Games (on a separate LCD television screen). Guys can play games for hours on end, and much like the sports network category listed above, another dude would never say to you, "man let's stop playing these games and get out. We never do anything anymore..."

1. Comic Book and Sci-Fi Movies

With the exception of SpiderMan, women will not accompany you to comic book movies. Sure they'll see one or two on occasion, but they refuse to see the entire panel of films from the Marvel and D.C. Universe. Let's face it there are tons of superhero movies that suck, but you'll see them with your bro's anyway just because you can. Generally women will only accompany you to a superhero film if the male lead is "superhot". You need a wingman to see science fiction films, super hero flicks, and LOTR shit.

Well guys there it is. Ladies, I have no excuse for my behavior, but I didn't put up the "V List" to make nice, I put it up there to stir up controversy and fun debate on nonsensical garbage. Guys, please sound off in a comment if there are some reasons I missed. Ladies, I'd love to hear about how much this stuff annoys you or just your overall perspective on bromances. If there are any women out there who would like to describe the female counterpart, I'd love to post one. Happy Sunday!


Bryan Pol said...

The Bromance. Very necessary, when you consider that ladies don't take too kindly to our video game addiction and action film fanaticism. After all, the bro lines up with you at midnight to catch the latest of the Indiana Jones series. The female makes you Fandango tickets to Sex and the City. Which is the better of two fates? For more on this, head to, look up 'How I Met Your Mother,' and search for the 'Bro Code' episode. In the confines of that episode is all you need to know about the Bromance.

Marc V said...

I totally forgot about that episode. I should reference it as like a works cited for the list. Should I use MLA or APA format?

Michael said...

A tear has come to my eye. Let's hug it out fellas.