Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Do Over!

When I was a kid I didn't play a lot of organized sports. My friends and I would play our street and school yard versions of real sports. Football was played with ropes staked in grass for sidelines, hockey was played on roller blades and we shot into a garbage can, baseball was stick ball, and the foul lines were the edges of the sidewalk on either side of the street.

One of the things I miss most about these games is the do-over. Did the tennis ball roll under a car and get stuck under a tire allowing a player to stretch his legit seeing-eye single into an inside the park home run? Perhaps your mom needed to actually toss out the garbage so she took her can back. Whatever the case, in the event of clear injustice there was always a do-over. The council of 10-12 year olds would come together and decide that justice was not served and the mighty do-over was enacted.

As I think back on the last 7+ years I thought about some actions and events that I'm sure we wish we could collectively or individually do-over.

5. Mission Accomplished. The only thing dumber then lying your way into a war is then telling everyone you won it when the worst hasn't even begun yet. It is note worthy that the Prez, never actually said the infamous words, but his big ole banner, his flight suit, and that dumb look on his face told the story.

4. Jump the couch. When you love someone you act a little silly. When you maul Oprah and jump all over her nice clean sofa you not only jump the couch, you jump the shark my friend. Tom Cruise set out on the road to crazy town then and there. Bet he wishes he'd of switched to de-caf that morning.

3. Spitzer or Swallows- When you're a governor that plays tough with everyone from murders to jay walkers, the last thing you want to do is get caught playing "meet the lieutenant governor" with a hooker. Less than stellar my friend. Being a hard-ass we can forgive, being a John for a very expensive hooker, we might look the other way on, making your wife stand by your side while you admit to being both...

2. Thinking Britney Spears was hot- Gents, who among us didn't want to have Miss Spears to hit our lieutenant governor one more time? Little did we know our innocent feelings would beget a head-shaving, baby-making, beast. Make no mistake it was our celebrity-crazed culture that sent her over the cliff. Think of her as a hotter, less frightening Michael Jackson.

1. Electing W-It's not like we could have possibly known how bad he would be. We had only the fact he was a complete verbal moron to go by. But when his opponent won the popular vote nation wide, but lost the 516 elderly votes that mattered most- the nation lost out on the man who has since one an Oscar and a Nobel prize being president. He may not have built the Internet, but he made a fortune betting that Google thing was going to be a good idea. Electing Al Gore-the ultimate do over.


Patrick said...

I remember the morning all of that stuff with Spitzer came out, I was having a cup of coffee and heard it on the news. The angels rejoiced. I knew he was too squeaky clean; and he would get his just desserts at some point.

The best part is that it is poetic justice at its finest. He spent all that time fighting what he indulged in. Pricless.

Bryan Pol said...

I couldn't help but post this in response to your Tom Cruise inclusion: