Friday, May 30, 2008

90's Fads R.I.P

While society generally looks back at the 90's as being an innovative decade, it certainly had it's cultural flaws. Historians will someday speak fondly of the decade in which the Internet blossomed, the economy boomed, and the president got busy in the oval office with somebody other than his wife. There are, however, some cultural faux pas that I am glad to say ended with Y2K. This list is dedicated to some of the worst Fads that we are happy did not make it into the new millennium.

5. The Macarena

There was a point where you couldn't turn on the radio or television without hearing this damn song by Los Del Rio. You knew this song had reached it's zenith when grandma was doing the Macarena at your cousin's wedding. Luckily the wedding circuit is about the only place one can find this piece of musical rubbish today. I also believe the United States intelligence department is using this song as a torture device in addition to water-boarding. Sounds pretty inhumane...
4. The Furby

Introduced in the late 90's, this was the real life version of the Chucky doll in many respects. I never owned a Furby, but my younger sister had two of them. They would come to life in the middle of the night speaking "furbish" and scare the living shit out of me. No matter how hard you tried, they never learned English, despite the rumors that if you talked to them they could learn how. I remember people talking to this thing for hours as only to get some gibberish reply. Much like the movie i-robot with Will Smith, I envision some junkyard in middle America where all the Furbies live together, waiting patiently to make their return and destroy mankind.
3. Wearing Overalls

For some reason, early in the 90's farmer couteur became all the rage and teenagers everywhere had to own a pair of overalls. I admit, I was guilty of buying in on this fad. The "cool" way to wear them was with one strap fastened, while the other dangled. Middle and high schools across America looked like an episode of Green Acres minus the livestock. While grunge may have been a bad fashion decision, overalls were downright ridiculous.

2. The Fanny Pack
Now considered a major no-no, the fanny pack used to be a must have when on-the-go. Men and women kept everything is those suckers. Making matters even worse, they made those things in neon colors (also a late 80's early 90's fad)? When people went out to theme parks like Disney and Six Flags, it looked more like a fanny pack convention where you could see all the latest styles and colors. You can still catch a person every now and again wearing one in public who didn't seem to get the memo that fanny packs are socially unacceptable nowadays. I would recommend politely tapping the person on the shoulder and give them the hint that the 90's called and they want their fanny pack back.

1. The Reebok Pump

I understand Reebok recently attempted to bring these pieces of trash back, but don't buy into it. I recall simply having to own a pair of Reebok pumps when I was a teenager. They were going to be the most amazing shoe ever! You put them on your feet, pump the little piece of plastic in the shoe tongue and then "wham!" you can jump to the moon. Then I got a pair and reality set in. You put them on your feet, pump them up, and your foot felt like it was placed in a vice grip. The only thing one gained from the Pump was extreme pressure on the sides and top of one's feet. The "euphoria" that accompanied the shoe came when you hit the release tab and your feet went back to normal. I used to pump them up just so that my mother and father didn't beat me over the head for making them buy me something that I secretly hated. I still have not forgiven Reebok, as this was the last pair of their shoes I ever bought. To this day I curse those shoes and all the anguish they brought my feet.


Anonymous said...

Mariah Carey, Sheryl Crow, The Impeachment of Billy Boy,

lol, just kidding

much better on top 5 then the above mentioned names/events

shout out: Reebok pumps scene in "Austin Powers"

Michael said...

cousin to overalls: wearing stuff backwards. kriss kross'll make ya jump jump!

amanda said...

great list, but i have to add POGS. kids went crazy for those stupid cardboard discs. what a waste of money. i just wish i knew why everyone became so obsessed. you couldn't really do anything with them.

Marc V said...

oooh good call on POGS! forgot about those.

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