Friday, May 9, 2008

Top 5 Inventions You Wish Were Real

When Lewis Black lamented what he believed the future would be like he was pissed that there were no flying cars at the dawning of the new millennium. I remember going to the "World of Tomorrow" in Disney World and it always seemed like the future was going to be pretty damn cool. In reality it seems the future only holds, overpopulation, global warming, disease, and political strife. So I thought what would be the top five futuristic inventions that I want to make my life easy. I left some room for comments and suggestions. What do you think we need that would round out a top 10?

5. Star Trek Beaming Technology
Have you seen gas prices lately? Driving sucks anymore. This tech would be a great time saver. The only problem is that I believe the minerals and gasses required for operation of the beaming technology can be found only the Saudi desert. So much for becoming less dependent on foreign energy!

4. X-Ray Glasses

Perverts everywhere are thinking, "hell yeah", but get your heads out of the gutter boys. I'm talking homeland security. No more pesky strip searches required, and no more nipple ring mishaps at the airport.
3. Robots
Dude, I hate cleaning my house. I want somebody else to do it for me. I realize that we run the risk of the artificial intelligence becoming self aware, but I'll be honest, I'm willing to take the risk. The last thing I want to do after a long work week is mow my lawn. I'll flirt with eternal bondage at the hands of emotionless machines if it gets me more free time.

2. Pharmaceuticals That Work!
What's the last disease that we cured? Do you remember? I know we've become really good at managing illness, but lets get some pills that actually remove the disease altogether. Then you can justify the billions of dollars going towards pharm companies every year.

1. Cold Fusion
Scientific experts say it will be at least another fifty years before cold fusion even becomes a possibility. It would be nice to have a limitless and clean source of energy, but hey let's do some more damage to the environment before we get serious.


Michael said...

Umm...dude...the Flux Capaciter. It's what makes time travel possible. At 88 mph, you're going to see some serious s$#!

JamesBedell said...

there are so many of these I can't even begin to express...

1. Light Sabre (ok maybe more fantasy than scifi, still want it)

2. Artficial Gravity

3. Warp Speed

4. The Starship Enterprise

5. Whatever database the CSI crime lab has, they're not running windows or mac, yet with apparently 2-3 keystrokes their computer can reconstruct which car left a tire print from a single photograph. Pretty cool.

6. A car that runs on hydrogen and leaves behind nothing but water vapor...oh wait Honda already has one of those...

7. A magnetic bullet train operating at speeds faster than 100 mph virtually slightly...oh wait Japan already has one of those...

8. Lastly, a holodeck.

Marc V said...

What is it about Star Trek James. They have everthing that I want NOW! Great additions.

Gonzo said... love for the hoverboard? I mean M.J Fox made it fashionable to cruise around on a pink hoverboard before the color pink was fashionable!

Patrick said...

The Force. Bar none.