Craziest Celebs

Substance abuse and celebrity go together like spaghetti and meatballs (or lamb and tuna fish if you prefer). It seems like every day some photog is snapping revealing photos about some celeb that the rest of us used to think was so "well balanced". When it comes to Hollywood, I am never surprised anymore. Whitney once said crack was "whack", but then the bitch lost her mind. Lindsey Lohan used to be that cute kid from Disney's Parent Trap, but now she's the poster child for yayo. The list goes on and on. When I started brainstorming ideas for this list my original idea was Top Five Celebrities that need to go to rehab, but as you can see there are way to many for a Top Five. So then I thought, who are the celebs that are just genuinely out of their minds without the help of chemical additives? Here are the top five celebrities that are a few fries short of a Happymeal.

5. Britney Spears

I genuinely feel bad for Brittany. If people followed me around 24/7, taking pictures of my private areas, I might fly off the handle too. The American public has had the opportunity to watch the mental destruction of this young girl over the past year, and it hasn't been pretty. First people thought she was just a bad parent. Then we thought she might just have a substance abuse problem. Now we have all come to understand that Brittany is mental. Her insanity has even drawn like minded followers to her cause (see below). Who knew that Spears' 1999 recording of You Drive Me Crazy would be a glimpse into this disturbed woman's future?

4. Gary Busey

Gary Busey has taken crazy and turned it into a successful career. Can you think of a film with Gary Busey where you didn't say, "Damn, this dude is out of his mind!?" The reality show I'm with Busey was disturbing because the audience came to the realization that Busey's behavior wasn't an act, he's literally insane. A google or yahoo search with the keywords "Crazy Busey" will provide hours of entertainment. Don't believe me, try it. Those closest to the epicenter of the Buseyquake in Hollywood have fresher crazy feed updates, but without getting into too many specifics here, let's just say this guy in certifiable.

3. Ted Nugent



Ted Nugent is mad intelligent, but also extremely crazy. This Second Amendment loving outdoorsman is surprisingly outspoken, given his only contribution to society thus far has been "Cat Scratch Fever" and "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang". Much like Gary Busey, it took a VH1 reality television show called Surviving Nugent to reveal how far off center this guy really was. If the United States wanted to scare the rest of the world into submission, the State Department should air clips of Nugent's show on a continuous loop with words, "All Americans are like this..." scrolling on the bottom of the screen. After that point we wouldn't need to worry about foreign invasion ever again.

2. Anne Heche

Anne Heche has been doing a lot of hard work to shed the label of "crazy". While people say that the show "Men in Trees" is quite enjoyable, I can't get into it because or her. Some readers of the "V" list may not be old enough to recall Anne's plunge into insanity. Anne used to be the lovable partner of America's sweetheart Ellen Degeneres. Following their break-up, Anne did several interviews and wrote a book (entitled Call me Crazy) where she said that she was the daughter of God and Celestia, a half-sibling of Jesus. Uh huh.

1. Michael Jackson the King of Crazy

David Chapelle said, "...he made Thriller." I guess that was enough for Dave (who has problems of his own) to give the King of Pop a pass for all his unusual behavior. Jackson's inappropriate behavior and obsession with children is not the only criteria we're using here. The man builds a theme park in his back yard, supposedly sleeps in a hyperbaric chamber, and keeps some odd pets. Michael Jackson combines elements of almost all five people on this list, rolls them into one person, and adds his own distinct flavor.

Who's your favorite crazy celebrity? Did I leave anything out? Yell at us in a comment or email thevlist10@yahoo.com

Do Over!

When I was a kid I didn't play a lot of organized sports. My friends and I would play our street and school yard versions of real sports. Football was played with ropes staked in grass for sidelines, hockey was played on roller blades and we shot into a garbage can, baseball was stick ball, and the foul lines were the edges of the sidewalk on either side of the street.

One of the things I miss most about these games is the do-over. Did the tennis ball roll under a car and get stuck under a tire allowing a player to stretch his legit seeing-eye single into an inside the park home run? Perhaps your mom needed to actually toss out the garbage so she took her can back. Whatever the case, in the event of clear injustice there was always a do-over. The council of 10-12 year olds would come together and decide that justice was not served and the mighty do-over was enacted.

As I think back on the last 7+ years I thought about some actions and events that I'm sure we wish we could collectively or individually do-over.

5. Mission Accomplished. The only thing dumber then lying your way into a war is then telling everyone you won it when the worst hasn't even begun yet. It is note worthy that the Prez, never actually said the infamous words, but his big ole banner, his flight suit, and that dumb look on his face told the story.



4. Jump the couch. When you love someone you act a little silly. When you maul Oprah and jump all over her nice clean sofa you not only jump the couch, you jump the shark my friend. Tom Cruise set out on the road to crazy town then and there. Bet he wishes he'd of switched to de-caf that morning.



3. Spitzer or Swallows- When you're a governor that plays tough with everyone from murders to jay walkers, the last thing you want to do is get caught playing "meet the lieutenant governor" with a hooker. Less than stellar my friend. Being a hard-ass we can forgive, being a John for a very expensive hooker, we might look the other way on, making your wife stand by your side while you admit to being both...



2. Thinking Britney Spears was hot- Gents, who among us didn't want to have Miss Spears to hit our lieutenant governor one more time? Little did we know our innocent feelings would beget a head-shaving, baby-making, beast. Make no mistake it was our celebrity-crazed culture that sent her over the cliff. Think of her as a hotter, less frightening Michael Jackson.




1. Electing W-It's not like we could have possibly known how bad he would be. We had only the fact he was a complete verbal moron to go by. But when his opponent won the popular vote nation wide, but lost the 516 elderly votes that mattered most- the nation lost out on the man who has since one an Oscar and a Nobel prize being president. He may not have built the Internet, but he made a fortune betting that Google thing was going to be a good idea. Electing Al Gore-the ultimate do over.