8 Bit Goodness: Best Nintendo Games EVER!

Pull out your Game Genie and dust off your old controllers, cause we're kicking it old school with the system that put console gaming on the map, the Nintendo Entertainment System. Everybody had a personal ritual to get their games to work, using hot breath on the cartridge opening, shaking the games violently, a gentle tap, or swabbing the chip with a "fool proof" mixture of rubbing alcohol and water. Even though you owned a zillion games, you treated every single one like the most precious commodity on the planet. Even if the game totally sucked, you played it until you developed something called "controller thumb", the Nintendo equivalent to carpal tunnel syndrome. Here is the fan requested (Patrick S.) list for the five games that changed your life!

5. Tecmo Super Bowl

While sports titles were not a strong suit of the 8 bit entertainment system, Tecmo was the first game to make you feel like you were actually playing the sport. Combining for the first time team logos and sports figures, now you could take control of your favorite players on this side scrolling NFL title. Tecmo also revolutionized sports gaming with season mode and the ability for you and all your friends to play in the same season and playoff bracket to determine who was the most awesome gamer. While Madden has become the definitive football franchise, few realize that without Tecmo Madden may not exist.

(Honorable Mention in Sports gaming goes to Bases Loaded, Blades of Steel, Mike Tyson's Punch Out, Ice Hockey, and Double Dribble)

4. Contra

You know the code...up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start. The select button was optional if you wanted to rock the game out with a friend. Despite the fact that this game only provided for 45 minutes of playtime, was there ever a short game that you played more? Seriously, what was it about this game that sucked you in over and over again? The unfortunate aspect of this game was it ruined many friendships when competition over the Spread gun erupted into physical violence. No matter how much people try to convince you, the laser sucks. The only consolation to missing out on the Spread gun was the Machine Gun. Die hard gamers know exactly what I'm talking about. If you want to renew your love affair with this title you can still find Contra on Xbox live arcade for only a few bucks. After all, kicking alien ass never gets old.

(Honorable Mention in Action Platforming goes to: Bionic Commando, Mega Man, Double Dragon, River City Ransom)

3. Metroid

This was a tough call putting this game here. It can easily make number one on many lists, but Metroid lacks the mass appeal of the two titles that edged it out. This game was so unparalleled in its depth and control scheme that you barely felt like you were playing a side-scrolling 8 bit title. Much like the number two game on the list Metroid combined action platforming and problem solving. It's unique array of weaponry immersed the gamer in a enigmatic universe taking game development to a whole new level. The only thing that could top this games mastery was its shocking ending whereby you learned this macho alien hunter was in fact a heroine. Served! It's no wonder the Nintendo empire has built every generation of Nintendo around a solid Metroid Title. This game would deserve a spot on an all-time list, even if it were side by side with graphically superior opponents.

(Honorable Mention Action RPG Hybrid: Castlevania, Metal Gear)

2. The Legend of Zelda

This is the only title that could possibly end a Metroid bid for number one game. You knew that you were in for an amazing game when you opened the package to reveal a gold cartridge. While I praised Metroid for its depth and breadth, Zelda surpasses our number 3 game in virtually every aspect. Zelda perfectly combined platforming, puzzle solving, and role playing with the right amount of attitude. Like Metroid, Zelda offered gamers a plethora of weapons to choose from and an equal amount of baddies to vanquish. Thank God for saving (also revolutionary) because I theorize that many gamers would have done intestinal and bladder damage to finish this game in one sitting. Like Metroid, Nintendo has created so many incarnations of this game, but none can compare with the original.

(Honorable mention Role-Playing: Dragon Warrior, Earthbound, Star Tropics, Final Fantasy)

1. Super Mario Brothers

I'm not going to cheese out and tell you that all the Mario games for Nintendo qualify for number one. I'm going to take a stand and hope that you argue with my decision. While some may say Super Mario III was the best because of Mario's ability to fly (which was HOT!) it would have been nothing without the original release. Super Mario Brothers IS the Nintendo Entertainment System. Regardless of age, sex, or race, Mario appealed to everybody. You could always tell a Nintendo Newbie (gamer-speak for newcomer) because when playing Super Mario they would physically move the gamepad to help Mario overcome longer jumps. Sidenote: And it took this long for Nintendo to think of motion sensitive joysticks? The game had a super high replay value regardless of how many time that douchebag Toadstool told you that your "princess was in another castle". Honestly who wears a mushroom on their head...tool! Fifty years from now, this game will still be the benchmark upon which the gaming industry measures success.

Top Five Reasons Guys Need Bromances

Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. Every guy at one point or another in his life has developed a bromance. Some might call it a mancrush, but regardless of the name it's just something that women may or may not understand. To better explain why the phenomenon of bromances I have put together a top 5 reasons why guys need them. Fellas, you know what I'm talking about, and ladies here's an insight into the male psyche.

5. Pounding it Out

Clandestine Handshakes, "Pounding it Out", Chest Pumps, High Fives, and other hand gestures NEVER get old or cheesy with other guys! Face it, your woman is mannish if she gives you a pound when you see something that you both agree is amazing. I don't know what it is, but guys degenerate into laconic beings when around other guys and express themselves in awkward ways. Ladies this is probably one thing that you shake your head at, but we think is totally awesome.

4. Farting

Disgusting as it may be, but when you are around other guys, the smellier the fart, the more you are respected. You also get extra points for duration of fart, volume, and wet sound (in some circles). I've done internal damage to myself when in mixed company because I didn't want to offend the fairer sex. When you're with dudes, let er rip.

3. Guys Never Get Tired of Sports

They invented ESPN for a reason. Dudes would get together, watch a game, and then say, "Shit! What do we do now?!" Guys will watch any sport when in the company of other dudes. If you add beer, they will never go home. Seriously, that's why they have a million ESPN networks. You can watch hot dog eating contests, Ping Pong, or even the Running of the Bulls and it's all good. Few women can watch sports all the time and be alright with it. Somebody you're in a bromance with would never say to you, "can you turn off the Yankees game, Grey's Anatomy is coming on?"

2. Video games

Dudes like video games, it's a fact. I don't care if you have not played a video game since atari, if other guys are playing games and you pick up the controller it's like taking a hit of crack, you're addicted. Male heaven is as follows: Alcohol, Sports, and Video Games (on a separate LCD television screen). Guys can play games for hours on end, and much like the sports network category listed above, another dude would never say to you, "man let's stop playing these games and get out. We never do anything anymore..."

1. Comic Book and Sci-Fi Movies

With the exception of SpiderMan, women will not accompany you to comic book movies. Sure they'll see one or two on occasion, but they refuse to see the entire panel of films from the Marvel and D.C. Universe. Let's face it there are tons of superhero movies that suck, but you'll see them with your bro's anyway just because you can. Generally women will only accompany you to a superhero film if the male lead is "superhot". You need a wingman to see science fiction films, super hero flicks, and LOTR shit.

Well guys there it is. Ladies, I have no excuse for my behavior, but I didn't put up the "V List" to make nice, I put it up there to stir up controversy and fun debate on nonsensical garbage. Guys, please sound off in a comment if there are some reasons I missed. Ladies, I'd love to hear about how much this stuff annoys you or just your overall perspective on bromances. If there are any women out there who would like to describe the female counterpart, I'd love to post one. Happy Sunday!