Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Top Five Ways to Regain the Man Card

I took a lot of flack a while back when I wrote the post on ways to lose your man card. Thus I have decided to give you a definitive list of acts you can engage in to reinstate the man-card you frittered away. First, a disclaimer, the man card does not know a boundary between the heterosexual and the homosexual. It's easy to see revocation of the man-card as some kind of proclamation that the former card-holder is gay, nothing could be further from the truth...they simply can't be a card carrying man. If you are guilty of too many violations its time to get that card back

#5. Hold open the door.

Simple and effective, whether you are with your lady-friend or a group. Grab the door and let your associates through. It will restore some points on the tainted card, or throw a few in the bank. Note: other acts of chivalry will also do well.

#4. Play with children

Odd as it may seem it takes a man to take care of kid. But it takes a real man to play with a child. Play hide and seek, tag, act like a monster, in the case of some of you, stop acting like a monster. Toss a ball or ride a ripstick. Get out there and play with some kids. There's nothing worse than the dude that won't get off the couch because nursing his beer is more important than nursing his inner child.

#3. Work Out

I know this sounds like something you see in men's health. But there is nothing manly being sedentary. I realize lots of guys are big-boned, husky, whatever you like. But if you've tainted your manly status, run a mile, lift some iron, hit the heavy bag. Get some man-points back who knows you might be able to see your feet again.

#2. Pick Up the Check.

You're out with friends at a bar. You're at lunch with coworkers. You're on a date. Get the check. Even if you're broke a joke, spotting your lady that Big Mac and Fries is the mark of man's man. Man-card=reinstated.

#1. Dress like a man.

There are some that would say dressing well and with style is the sign of less-than-manliness. These people are men that can't dress. Gay or straight, go shopping, because let me tell you no matter what your friends tell you, the faded logo tee and cargo shorts are not OK to wear to the office. Buy shirts that fit, and for God's sake, either tuck the dress shirt in or pull it out, no one wants that extra fabric roll. And if somebody tells you that a suit is for the stuffy, not the manly politely tell them that Sinatra wore a suit and his man-card beats yours and he's been dead for a decade. Start dressing like a man and maybe just maybe that man-card you forfeited on the infield fly rule might just get reinstated.


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