Sunday, June 1, 2008

80's Fad's Back by Popular Demand

What can I say about the 80's that hasn't already been said? It was the decade that gave us big hair, spandex, and the brat pack. We all have some photo hidden away from the 80's where we either had feathered hair, or some lame fashion. Unfortunately, some people still walk amongst us that have never given up the decade. You know who I'm talking about. People you work with that still rock out the "Members Only" jacket. How about the girl in the office that still rocks out that big ass hair-do with enough product in it to put a hole in the ozone layer? Don't be so quick to judge these 80's fashion victims because I'm sure that if you checked your closet there's still some relic that you just can't part with. Perhaps it's your Iridescent Oakley jacket, or a pair of acid washed jeans. What is it about the 80's that we just can't let go of? Here's a tribute to the fads and fashions that we thought were totally radical, but in reality wound up being bogus.

5. Slap Bracelets!

Slap bracelets were totally far out, that is until your hoser friend decided to use one to try and slice your wrist. These things came in virtually every color or pattern and drove your teacher and parents nuts. I can't tell you how many times I was told to stop playing with my slap bracelet in the middle of class.

4. New Wave Music and Fashion

In addition to being a musical styling that combined elements of disco with heavy synthesizer, it gave us famous fashionistas like Duran Duran and Flock of Seagulls. A hairstyle whereby a person combs all their hair to one side is still attributed to this day to that crappy band. While I never dressed "New Wave" I had a babysitter that was simply obsessed with New Wave fashion. That included a ton of hair gel or mousse, way to much facial make-up (really weird if you were a guy), and loose brightly colored clothing that looked like you got it from the Salvation Army. While Duran Duran is still rocking hard to this day, I'm sure that they look back upon their 80's roots and cringe in horror.
3. Yuppies

No man should ever have a pony tail, lest he is European or is from a Latin American country and his name is Raoul. This hairstyle was the staple for Yuppies (young urban professionals) that remains one of the biggest stereotypes of the decade. Tons of 80's films depict these BMW driving, cocaine loving individuals as the driving force behind Wall-Street and 80's excess. Following a Yuppie backlash most of these men became the metrosexuals that still plague our urban environments to this day. Hey at least they lost the pony tail.
2. Jellies
What woman who respects her feet would ever wear plastic shoes? I don't know where to start with this one. I never wore a pair of jellies, but I can imagine that one's feet became soaked with sweat being after putting on those plastic nightmares somebody called a shoe. Furthermore, they could not have been approved by Podiatrists across America as they seemed like they would be the most uncomfortable piece of footwear since biblical times. I saw a pair of them for $2.99 at a Payless about two years ago in the Sato-Masicism section of the store, so somebody must still like them.

1. Floods
This is where your pants ended way before your ankles did. To get the desired effect, you would fold the bottom of your jeans over and then roll them tightly. Sometimes people (including myself) got way too carried away and brought their jeans dangerously high up the ankle looking like a tool in the process. My memory isn't what it used to be, but I recall that sometimes your jeans became so tight they cut the circulation in your feet. If you were totally tubular you wore Z Cavarrici's or Jordache jeans. Word to your mother!


amanda said...

oh boy, my feet still have yet to forgive me for jellies. i probably still have scars on my feet from the sweat blisters. also, you could never walk anywhere that had rocks on the surfuce. the rocks would be stuck in the bottom for days.

I have to add belted sweaters to the list. I'm sorry, but a huge sweater, leggings, and a belt will never be considered a complete outfit. And do get me started on belted leotards.

Anonymous said...

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