Sunday, June 22, 2008

Top 5 Annoying Movie Theater Habits

I was going to write a review on The Incredible Hulk, but I'll defer to Michael and instead tackle an issue both near and dear to my heart, poor movie theater etiquette. The outbreak of bad behavior usually depends on a multitude of variables, most notably the showtime of a film and the content or parental rating of the film. These poor habits have now become endemic in larger moviehouses across America, and therefore today, we here at the "V" list are taking a stand against movie theater idiots. Join us in our campaign (DAMN - Dangerously Annoyed Moviegoers Network) to take the moviehouse back from the clutches of those who clearly need to wait for the release of the film on video.

5. Rolling with the Posse

I'm not against going to the film with a few friends, but do you have to bring twenty people with you? If you look around the theater and your group takes up half of the seating, then it's likely that you came with a far too many people. There is also a strong correlation between the amount of people in a group and the outbreak of bad behavior. We'll discuss these more specifically later in this article.
4. Cell Phone

Theater owners politely remind patrons to silence their cell phones, yet there's always at least one guy that doesn't get the hint. If it's that important that you receive an incoming call, put your joint on vibrate and then leave the theater. Please, don't answer a call and interrupt the rest of us who paid nearly twelve bucks to see the movie. Yes, texting counts too!

3. Bringing the kid along

Allow me to clarify what I mean by this faux pax. I am not against family night out, but I am against you bringing the crib midgets to a nine-o-clock showing of The Happening or Hulk. First off, your child, who isn't even two years old cannot comprehend what is going on during the movie. Secondly, take into account the age appropriateness of the film. Even in Marvel films based on comic book, there are some scenes with extreme content that no child under that age of five should see. Finally, I hate being bumped by your child who is crazily running around the theater, crying and begging for food. Please, for all of us who are just too afraid to speak up, go and see Kung Fu Panda. Stop torturing the rest of us that paid to see a film geared towards adults.

2. The Seat Saver

This theatrical no-no usually goes hand in hand with our number five entry. Large groups of people that are compelled to have a chunk of seating blanket it with coats, shopping bags, and body parts. What's worse is that in some cases they leave one seat gaps in their ginormous sections, making it impossible for you to sit with your date in an "optimal" area of the theater. If you want to sit in those seats, arrive early like the rest of the world. Koudos to moviehouses for cracking down on this trend, making it more difficult for the Neo-Christopher Columbuses, who plant their flag and claim the entire theater for themselves.

1. Talking

This can be on a cell-phone, but it goes way beyond in most cases. There are some people who treat the movies like a private screening in their living room. Therefore, let's briefly discuss the appropriate times to talk during a viewing. When then lights are turned up and they are projecting lame ass movie trivia and advertisements, feel free to discuss the state of our union. Continue to blather on during the previews, but once the studio logo hits the screen, please stop talking. You had plenty of time prior to this moment to catch up on the previous films (if its a sequel), the plot, or the main characters. I will not accept any questions or interruptions to the silence of the theater. If you can't handle that rule, wait six to eight months for the video release, and I guarantee you'll enjoy the film just as much in the privacy of your own home.
What annoys you about the bad behavior at the movies? Speak up and join the DAMN Campaign!

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