Monday, June 2, 2008

80's Cartoons That Rocked Our World! (Male Version)

Today's cartoons cannot compare with their predecessors of the 80's and 90's. While today's cartoons are much kinder, gentler, and politically correct than past cartoons, I would suggest they also suck. Some may find entertainment value in cartoons like Pokemon, but after a while one wants to put your fork in his ear and jiggle it around until the pain goes away. I remember renting the Transformers movie years back in college, and for all it's flaws, it was still 100 times better than the crap that kids get on Saturday mornings nowadays. And while we're on the topic of cartoons, why do networks only show like three hours of cartoons on Saturdays? When we were young, cartoons started at 6 A.M and ended with Land of the Lost at 12:30 P.M. Now that's what I'm talking about! This list is the male version of cartoons that were the bomb. The female counterpart will be coming soon.

5. Thundercats

This sci-fi action cartoon was the bomb in the 80's. If you were a fan of this show then you probably had tons of Thundercats action figures and paraphernalia all over your room. Regardless of how much you love this show, if you were like me you always thought that the Snarf character was a total bitch and wished secretly that he would bite it in some epic battle with the mutants. Mumm-Ra the Everliving remains one of the best cartoon bad guys of all time, and I would love to see Michael Bay recreate Mumm-Ra for the big screen. Now that would be Badass! Thunder Cats HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

4. Voltron
For those of us who experienced Voltron we will debate any Mighty Morphin Power Ranger lovers and inform you that your show was a total rip-off. In America, Voltron did it first, and did it best. While the show followed the same formula episode after episode, somehow we didn't mind. In every installment Voltron got whooped up on for a bit before he broke out his broadsword and wrecked shop. Much like Snarf's character in Thundercats, we secretly wanted the Green Lion to get housed, because it's operator Pidge was a total wuss. Robot chicken did an awesome tribute to Voltron a few years ago. While the real Voltron never breakdanced, he did stomp all over his opponents to the greatest cartoon theme music of all time.

3. He-Man

While He-Man is eerily similar to Thundercats in so many ways, in a male perspective it's like choosing between ice cream and cake. Yeah, they're both dessert, but they both are equally awesome. One could exchange He-Man with Thundercats and number five quite easily, however I followed He-Man closer than I did Thundercats, so this is a personal call. (sorry Danny) Like Voltron, He-Man had a cookie cutter formula to every episode, and always ended with He-Man and his compatriots whooping Skeletor's ass. One of the most traumatic days of my life when when my mom trashed all my He-Man figures. I don't think I've ever quite recovered from that event. I know that secretly some men still have all their He-Man toys stashed away somewhere hidden from everybody that would ridicule them for hiding plastic men in spandex and leather clothing. Don't be ashamed, we here at the "V" list understand you completely.

2. G.I Joe

I had such a difficult time in putting this cartoon at number two, because it deserves to be number one easily. Since I mentioned action figures earlier, let me say that a had a zillion G.I. Joe action figures and vehicles. G.I Joe did not have a bad episode, and unlike some other cartoons, each installment had a unique storyline and focused on a different character each time. Guys everywhere lost it when Duke was killed by Serpentor in the G.I. Joe movie. Fans of the cartoon can only hope that the live action movie will live up to it's Transformers counterpart. In addition to being a great cartoon, every episode came with a public service announcement from your favorite characters after kids were doing something wrong. Knowing is half the battle! Go Joe!
1. Transformers

The schoolyard debate of the 80's was who would win in a fight, the Transformers or the Go-Bots. Siding with the Go-Bots earned you ostracism from the sandbox followed by years of ridicule and mockery. There was only one Optimus Prime. There was only one Megatron. Last year when Michael Bay made his movie, people began to understand the coolness of the Transformers series. The Transformer movie where Optimus Prime ends his own life to save humanity ranks up there in the top 5 moments that changed my childhood. When I graduated Kindergarten, my parents bought me an Optimus Prime action figure, and it has long stood as one of the greatest gifts of my lifetime. While later generations of Transformers, most notably the Beast Wars have let audiences down, the original still stands as the best cartoon of all-time. Autobots, Roll out!


laura said...

Transformers 2 is filming here in Bethlehem, PA all this week. They are making the old Bethlehem Steel plant look like a chinese city.

Anonymous said...

Look, I'm just going to say it. I think this post was too generational. Cartoons aren't like sitcoms, when I think of cartoons I think of the 90's heyday of Nickelodeon.

The age gap just appeared with this one, imao.

Bryan Pol said...

Props to the Disney Afternoon. Although Darkwing Duck and Ducktales pale in comparison to your aforementioned list, Disney, nevertheless, entertained us every afternoon with cartoon goodness

Bryan Pol said...

BTW: Are we saying that the likes of 'Doug,' 'Rugrats,' 'Rocko's Modern Life,' and 'Rocket Power' competes with these five? 'David the Gnome?' 'Little Bear?' I think not! In having a little brother in the house, watching Nick's cartoons was entertaining, but the lasting power of these shows ends there.

Michael said...

in order to extend the generational aspect, per se, i must add Animaniacs and both the fox Batman and X-Men animated series.

Nicktoons never really did it for me, though the occasional Ren and Stimpy was good for a vulgar laugh.

Marc V said...

Nick cartoons are mad good, but they aren't as good as these cartoons. Rocko's Modern Life was awesome and Ren and Stimpy was genius, but when it comes to over-the-top awesomeness, these five take the cake in my book. I hear what you're saying eaglez, you're have a great point, but I would think that younger generations also enjoy these cartoons.

Marc V said...

I changed the topic title since it is very generational. I would love for a 90's version, or even Nickelodeon version of this list to post. Any readers or blog authors want to embark on that quest, you're welcome to do so.

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