Thursday, July 17, 2008

The Verdict is In: Stay Away, Mr. Favre

According to the V-List's esteemed audience, Brett Favre should ride off into the sunset and disregard any attempt at a comeback (a staggering 92% were against his return, a figure that speaks volumes about Favre's tired venture into prolonging a suddenly crumbling NFL legacy). As sparkling a career as the three-time MVP had, Favre has drawn ire from many NFL fans, from even the most diehard of Cheeseheads, who are ready to usher in a new era at Lambeau sans-Brett. Simply put, Favre is ruining Green Bay's prospects the way he impeded on Ben Stiller's chances with Cameron Diaz in There's Something About Mary. Remember how that worked out for Stiller? Mr. Favre was left out in the cold, a Hollywood demise that hopefully ends the same way in reality. The V-List presents a definitive look at why Favre needs to call it quits...for good.

10. The short list of teams interested in Favre: da Bears, the Vikings, and the Ravens, three squads that (1) run, (2) play defense, and (3) have no substantial threat at wide receiver. That's like Joe Montana 'gloriously' ending his career with the Chiefs. Man, did he look ugly in that red, white, and orange get-up. Can you seriously picture Favre in a purple uniform? Yeesh.

9. Check out the Packer website and find the Favre headline, if you will; return or no return, Green Bay still doesn't give a f*%&. Mr. Favre, your former organization has moved on: so should you.

8. The longer he prolongs this, the longer we'll hear Favre mentioned in the talks as one of the five greatest QB's of all-time, a distinction he doesn't deserve. Did you know: the NFL's all-time leading touchdown artist (Brett Favre himself) also threw the most picks in league history.

7. Imagine the recall totals of Madden '09 if Favre were to sign with the Vikings.

6. Ponder if you will this scenario: Favre signs with the Vikings, the Packers' opponent on Monday Night Football, September the 8th. On Brett Favre Night. When his number is supposed to retired. That would be awkward.

5. Prilosec and Wrangler Jeans will have no other choice but to extend their endorsement deals for the graying superstar.

4. David Witthoft is going to get the bright idea to wear Favre's jersey for another 1500+ a row.

3. Aaron Rodgers has become the equivalent of that pet fish you continually forget to feed.

2. Thanks to Brett, Trey Wingo of NFL Live officially crossed the line by referring to the retirement controversy as 'Favre-gate.'

1. Favre is monopolizing headlines with Keven Federline-like prowess. Will we recall Brett Favre the legend or Brett Favre the spoiled celebrity once this is all said and done?

1 comment:

Damon Ficken said...

I agree with some of what you wrote although I feel that he is indeed one of the top 5 greatest quarterbacks of all time. He's been a Superbowl Champ, an MVP, and he holds several passing records that many people said would never be broken. The fact that this is the second time he's announced his retirement does makes him look capricious, but he has been a loyal Packer for his entire career and I don't think he is the only one being embarassed. I think the Packers organization is also ebarassing themselves. He may be pretty old to be throwing a football for a professional team, but he's still throwing it better than most in the game. Interceptions or not, he'll go down as one of the best players in the history of the NFL, a well deserving title if you ask me. I believe the Packers should take him back, out of reprect for the legend that he is. But if they don't, it's time to say goodbye. Don't sign with another team Brett, take the eight million dollars they offered you to stay retired and do just that.