Thursday, July 10, 2008

The Forecast Calls for Carl Weathers

He is The Master of Disaster, The King of Sting, The Dancing Destroyer and The Count of Monte Fisto. He is the one, the only...Carl Weathers. You thought he was gone, but he's never gone. He just changes with the seasons. Here are five of this Canadian-born actors high points. Grab your umbrella. It's reigning Carl!




5. Credit Unions of Washington
Just when you thought he wasn't relevant anymore, the man, the myth, the Carl comes back with this incredibly strange ad campaign called Change is Beautiful. He rides a bike, talks about Marie Curie and inspires cubicle dwellers everywhere to smile. Weathers Forecast: sunny skies!




4. Predator
As Dillon in this classic John McTiernan action flick, Carl is the trusty sidekick of everyone'sfavorite ass-kicker, Ahnuld. In the end, the Predator proves to be too much for Dillon. Hey, not everyone can be like Danny Glover in the sequel. Weathers Forecast: hazy, hot and humid with a high chance of severe headhunting.



3. Action Jackson
How's this for marketing? NAME: Jericho Jackson NICKNAME: "Action" HOME: Detroit PROFESSION: Cop EDUCATION: Harvard Law HOBBY: Fighting Crime WEAPON: You're looking at 'em. Carl gets some Sharon Stone action and play from Vanity, post-Prince and pre-Born Again Christian. Not to mention his nemesis is Craig T. Nelson. Coach! The Weathers Forecast calls for some serious dry heat. It is highly recommended you drink a lot in these conditions.







2. Happy Gilmore
As Chubbs Peterson, the one-handed ex-golf pro, Carl brings wisdom and insight into the world of Adam Sandler's Happy Gilmore. Chubbs also memorably dies falling out a window when Happy shows him the dead alligator that took his hand. Poor Carl can't catch a break. First the Predator, then a Gator. Weathers Forecast: easy, breezy, with scattered Bob Barker storms.


1. Rocky
There is no escaping the man who had never been taken the distance before stepping in the ring with The Italian Stallion. Apollo Creed is a bad, bad man. Or at least he was, until the Russian Ivan Drago said he "vill lose" and took his life. What is it with Carl and his characters dying off? No wonder he's taken to riding the philosophical bicycle in his latter years. Regardless, you can't question his style as Apollo. Who else could rock the red, white and blue and dance to James Brown with boxing gloves on? Only Carl. Only Carl. Weathers Forecast: Hurricane force followed by Siberian avalanche.

41 comments:

Marc V said...

Instant Classic! I love it.

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