Top 5 Worst Comic Book Villians by "V" List Reader Trevor Charity

The Joker. Doctor Doom. Venom. Lex Luthor. These names have become infamous as some of the best villains in comic book history. Along with the best villains came the worst. Then after them, came the worst of the worst. These guys were so bad, you probably never heard of their names. I’m here to list the top 5 worst super villains to have been printed to the pages of comic books.



#5 Stilt-Man-

Guess what his power is? He had a metal suit that had telescopic legs that enabled him to grow bigger. Also, the metal on his suit made Spider-Man’s web ineffective. Too bad it didn’t matter. He was so bad, even the Kingpin wouldn’t hire him. He would go on to get owned by Daredevil, Thor, Spider-Man, The Fantastic Four, and Luke Cage.

#4 The Walrus-

Out of all of the animals in the animal kingdom, they picked a walrus? This guy literally has the speed, strength, and agility of a walrus. Even with those capabilities, a normal person has better attributes than him. The only accomplishments he had are he knocked down Spider-Man and is really good at crossword puzzles. I’m not making that up. Hit him up on the web if you don’t believe me.

#3 Asbestos Man-

You probably never want this guy to stay in your house for long periods of time. This villain was a scientist who wanted to prove that all his theories on analytical chemistry and to get in good with criminals, so he developed a suit of flame-resistant material called, “super-asbestos”. He also created a shield, and net which converted heat into explosive charges. He challenged the Human Torch and actually beat him. Asbestos Man was defeated when Human Torch used his powers to consume all the oxygen in the area. He surrendered and was never seen again. Any self respecting villain would escape and wish for revenge.

#2 Maxie Zeus-

This villain was much like Thor, except he chose to believe he wass Zeus, the Greek god. Maxie used many gadgets and superhuman allies called the New Olympians. He was defeated by Batman and Robin via a series of Greek games. Not even the Batman villains like this crack pot. During one storyline, Bane helps everyone from Arkham Asylum break loose. Maxie pleaded with the Joker to free him from his cell, yet Joker refuses because he found Zeus annoying. When Zeus finally manages to excape, good ole’ Max runs from the asylum and slams into a tree. Curses!!! Foiled by an oak tree!!!

#1 The Ten-Eyed Man-

This guy is the worst failure of the Marvel/DC catalog and personally sounds like a pedophile to me. The Ten-Eyed Man lost his eyesight, but found new vision when a doctor moved his optic nerves to his fingers. Multi-eyed homeboy battled Batman twice. During their first battle, he was tricked into catching something brightly lit, blinding him and rendering him even more usless than usual. In a second bout, he was vanquished by Bruce Wayne (not Batman). This guy was so pathetic, Wayne didn’t even have to throw on his mask and cape to knock this losers block off. Sans Gadget Belt, now that's pathetic!

Great List Trevor! Keep your ideas coming in to us at thevlist10@yahoo.com.

Don't Mess with the Dark Lord!

While several films have been stamped by the mark of the beast, not all recreations of the master of all evil stand out as remarkable. There are two types of horror films, ones that scare you and then ones that make you open your bible and start praying for forgiveness. The following movies breathed new life into the biblical bad ass that has been hell bent on stealing your soul since the dawn of mankind. The "V" list presents the top 5 appearances by Lucifer in a major motion picture...

5. South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut

Trey Stone and Matt Parker's version of Beelzebub will not have you running for the hills, but it will cause you physical pain from all the non-stop laughter you will experience from watching this movie. Satan's homosexual love affair and verbal spats with Saddam Hussein steal the show, and prooves that even the Dark Lord has a soft side. While he was Saddam's bitch for most of the movie, in the end Satan showed us all that when you cross the dark lord, the entire planet is doomed. Don't count out this movie just because it's a cartoon. While it's a rip off of Canadian Bacon (to some degree) the movie will have you laughing from start to finish and will give you a whole new perspective on the inner workings of hell.

4. The Devil's Advocate

Keanu Reeves may only have one emotion in his acting repertoire (surprise), but in the Devil's Advocate he played the crap out of that emotion when he discovers that the Devil is in the details. I'm not surprised that Al Pacino is Satan, since I always knew something was awry with him. He is way to angry for a normal person, and you knew that rage came from somewhere deep and dark. In this film the Devil uses the legal system in a clever attempt to bring forth the anti-christ along with hell on earth. If not for free-will, we'd all be totally screwed. Without spoiling the end of the movie let me just say that movie fans cannot miss this screen gem from 1997.

3. The Prophecy


Hands down, Christopher Walken is one of the scariest dudes of all time. He could play any role and I would still lose sleep at night. While the role of Lucifer in this film went to Viggo Mortensen, it didn't seem to matter. This movie scared the living crap out of me and to this day I cannot watch this film without reverting to the fetal position. In the end, the Angel Gabriel (Walken) gets smoked by satan, who is mad pissed about Gabe's meddling in the war that has been raging in heaven for centuries. There are two sequels to this film, but neither one can compare with the genius of the original. A must see for Satan lovers all over the world.

2. The Omen

When I say The Omen, I'm not talking about the garbage remake from 2006 that starred Julia Styles and Liev Schreiber. The original Omen remains one of the freakiest movies of all time and will have you reading the "good book" all over again to ask forgiveness in only 111 minutes (the runtime of the film.) I bet Lee Remick wishes she just left that damn kid in the hospital. Let this be a lesson to all of you, don't steal babies from strangers because it might just turn out to be the spawn of satan that you grab mistakingly.

1. The Exorcist

In addition to providing some of the most iconic horror film moments, this film excels at renewing your love with religion. An obvious downside to viewing The Exorcist is a sharp dislike for pea soup and Linda Blair. If you're like me, then you can't watch this film when you're alone or when it's completely dark in the room. When I was a kid this film scared the crap out of me so much that it took an extra two or three hours to get to sleep at night. The moral of the story is that when Satan wants something bad enough, it's probably a good idea to just let him have it and mind your own damn business.

The power of Christ compels you to leave a comment, or suffer eternal damnation!

Top 5 SuperPowers I Want...

Dane Cook weighs in on the topic, give a listen...

After a discussion with an annoying person today I found myself thinking, "God I wish I had a superpower that I could use to destroy him." Aside from shooting spaghetti on people, what superpower would I love to have at my disposal to dispense justice and preserve/destroy the natural order of society? Dane Cook already said that flying is number one on every body's list, so it's been removed for arguments sake. In addition to flying here are the top five powers I would choose and how I would use them to dominate my opponents.

5. Invisibility (Invisible Woman, Fantastic Four)

The possibilities of this power are limitless. Think what it would be like to listen in on people's conversations to find out what they really thought about you. I could even make withdrawals from the bank without anybody else knowing. While Invisible powers may not serve you well in a superhero brawl, they are very practical when it comes to everyday life. The obvious downside is that when you came out of invisibility you would be totally naked in front of everybody. Now that's embarrassing!

4. Invincibility (Hancock)

Everybody wants Hancock's ability to fly, but for me the best part about being Hancock is that human weapons can not kill you. While I have not seen this movie, it seems safe to say that if you have Hancock's powers you are the mack daddy. Some people would love to flaunt this power, however I would keep it under wraps and become a Running Back in the NFL. I would be a touchdown machine. Imagine all the money that I would bring in during my free agent year. I'd go Pacman Jones and make it rain with all the green I was raking in from my hidden powers. The downside of invincibility in the NFL would be the constant drug testing, since league officials would think Jose Canseco was stabbing me in the ass with 'roids. I wonder, would the needles even penetrate my skin? Hrmm. This could be a problem.

3. Teleportation (Nightcrawler, X-Men)

Why would you need to fly when you could zap yourself instantly across the globe? Suddenly that European vacation seems much more affordable. Just be careful you don't transport yourself into a solid mass and get stuck in the floor or wall somewhere. Procrastinators and sleepy heads rejoice because now you can hit the snooze button a few more times in the morning and add the time spent driving to your beauty rest. Of course the subscription to XM Radio in your car will be going to waste.

2. Time Travel (Hiro Nakamura, Heroes)

I don't want to open up a debate on time travel and the paradoxes that would ensue if this power were possible. Since we're suspending our disbelief, I'm asking if nerds could unite behind me in saying that it would be cool if this power didn't come with tremendous setbacks. I would travel forward and learn stock market trends, lottery numbers, and new technologies. Perhaps I could drop in on my life and make adjustments and corrections. I realize that in doing so I'll probably rip a hole in the space time continuum and end humanity, but selfishly I think it's worth it.

1. Control of Electricity (Zeus, Greek Mythology)

Annoying and stupid people would fear my wrath as I would rain down bolts of lightning from the sky and smote them where they stood. Throngs of pitiful humans would plead for mercy saying, "Don't taze me bro!" Despite losing all my friends, I would have a very promising career in law enforcement and crowd control. You're totally rude, here's your electricity.

Top 5 Ways to Beat the Heat

For the first summer since I was seven I find myself without air conditioning. Who knew Boston could get hot enough to make you want to sit in the freezer? Aren't I supposed to be living in New England? My third floor walk up apartment seems to have converted itself into a sauna without asking any its tenants so now we are forced to take drastic measures in order to keep the maddening heat at bay. If anyone else out there can relate to the uncivilized nature of life with no air conditioning, this list is for you. These five steps keep me from going insane and melting into a puddle, so heed them well.

5. Rooftops- Laying flat on your back on a rooftop at dusk is both enlightening and refreshing. Watch the sunset, the heat lightning in the distance, and the wind from whatever body of water you are closest to will save your soul. Beware, if you go up on the roof before the sun begins to set you will find yourself nursing some burning skin that rubs against the sheets at night and makes life a bit more miserable. This trick is meant to be used with caution, but bringing a book and some lemonade up on a roof at just the right time of day can ease your sweating and give you a peak at life with circulating air.

4. Wearing as Little Clothing as Possible- My roommates and I have completely given up on looking cute or even presentable. In the face of such heat all we can do is put on the same pair of shorts everyday and the thinnest t-shirt we can find. We look like children from the eighties, wandering around with our hair up, over-sized t-shirts and flowing skirts. Things like jeans, blouses, anything that is form-fitting or covers too much skin are abandoned in our attempt to feel air on our skin. Laying on your couch practically naked and still sweating, you wonder if you'll ever feel cool again, but for an interesting combo you could even try some naked roof time.

3. Freeze Everything- From clothing to fruit juice to bottles of water to wet towels, putting things in the freezer makes them instantly more tolerable. Also, instead of just drinking some liquid that goes from cold to luke warm in mere minutes, freezing drinks and filling ice trays with creative combos of juice, soda, crystal light, lemonade mix, anything you can come up with really, can make the long days a bit more tolerable. Unlike eating ice cream all the time, which I tried and ended up just getting sick, eating and wearing frozen things is like coming up for air in a pool of hot water.

2. Avoid the Sun- It might look cool to sit in the sun with sunglasses on but you'll regret it when you start to peel and realize your dead skin is mixing with sweat and won't actually come off. I've found that direct sunlight is the enemy in the battle against heat and growing up in heavily-wooded forests has not helped me build up much of a tolerance. Now I follow the shade, crossing streets at problematic moments to run from the evil of direct sunlight. Remember people, having a tan, or in my case a burn, just makes you feel hotter- temperature wise- and no matter how cool you think you look, self-heating skin is the last thing any of us needs.

1. Cold Baths! - Sitting in pools of your own sweat all day can make you feel pretty gross, so you're probably going to be taking a lot more showers anyway. But I've found that sitting in a cold bath for an hour or so serves two purposes: you get to feel clean for at least an hour out of every day, depending on how many baths you take, and you get to feel cool, until you get out and realize your bathroom still feels like a sauna. I can't go the whole day without a nice long bath anymore and I find myself wishing I could spend the whole day in ten inches of water, periodically draining and refilling the tub. If these steps don't help you to cool off you can also cut your hair out of frustration with the heat, but you'll be covered with little pieces of hair and you might end up looking like a victim of some reality show competition.

Top 10 Giant Movie Monsters

Big ups to JamesNintendoNerd for this list, which is carefully crafted and funny as hell. Sit back and enjoy seven minutes of hilarity, monster style.

Top Five Reasons Obama Won the Nomination

Policythought a sister blog of sorts to the "V" list is all over Senator Obama's nomination win this week. But what better place than the venerable, viscous, never vapid V list to drop the definitive Top Five for why Senator Obama took the ticket...

#5. He Won the Press War Early

The Clinton Machine is a hulking powerful mass in the Democratic Party, especially back when these nominating contests began. But for all their history and might, the Clintons were never media darlings. Obama provided a fresh face, soaring rhetoric and the promise of a new governing style. Light on personal history in government, but a new character to all of us the press fell in love. Much to the grand and well displayed dismay of Senator Clinton, but even more so for her ex-president husband. His antics in South Carolina, on television and in the press solidified a narrative that made it very difficult for the Clintons to directly attack Obama. Their triangulated attacks were called out early and often, making Obama teflon. 

#4. He raises a hell of a lot of money

Who would have thought that by the end of the nominating contests Obama would have a war chest (that's still growing, by the way) and Clinton would be out of cash and in debt? The Internet is Obama's friend, and while the established candidates ignored the youth vote, Obama turned their interest into web-bucks. Which brings me to...

#3. Young People

When you're the insurgent running against a name brand like Hillary Clinton, you have to change the game. Engaging people in the 18-24 bracket, not just as potential voters, but as field organizers, robo-callers, fund raisers and awareness-spreaders gave Obama a ground-game lead that was the difference in the smaller states where he built his delegate lead. 

2. He Won Iowa

This sounds like ancient history. But remember way back in January? On a frigid night in farm country Barack Obama used his soaring rhetoric and mega-watt smile to win over the voters of the Iowa Caucus, thus propelling him forward for the contests ahead. While it's true Iowa didn't provide enough power to let him steam roll New Hampshire, it did provide legitimacy to the man who promised "we are the change, we've been waiting for."

#1. Playing by the rules of the game

Remember when Al Gore won the popular vote in 2000 but lost the electoral college? That's because he was playing the wrong game. Guess what? So did Hillary. Caught flat-footed after Feb. 5th and seeming to forget that her party apportions delegates proportionally, Clinton and her camp didn't fight for those small caucus states. Those decisions, or lack of action, doomed her and her vaunted team of seasoned strategists. Obama unlike, Clinton was ready (on day one, sorry couldn't resist) for the long haul. He was ready to fight for the votes that came after Feb 5, the 11 in a row streak built a delegate lead that was insurmountable. 

Kiss them, they're Directors!

A good movie director is like the best ice cream sunday of all time-a little raspberry sauce, hot fudge, a brownie, whipped cream and a cherry. Worth savoring over and over, these directors hold places in our hearts and memories. Nostalgia just doesn't cut it when describing their films. These people hold my highest regards and much of my precious, precious time.

5. Steven Spielberg

If Jaws, Indiana Jones, Catch Me if You Can, Jurassic Park, Hook, and Schindler's list don't boil you up and put a fire in your furnace then you might consider rolling out from under that rock that has obviously fallen on your head. This man's creations punctuate my childhood and bring me back to simpler times when Hollywood was more innocent, slightly more ignorant, and when adventure was the name of the game.



4. Wes Anderson

If I went with my heart and not my rational mind which tells me it would becrazy to put Wes Anderson above Hitchcock and Kubrick, if I followed my gut and soul which cries out with joy every time I watch one of his movies, then Wes would be number one. After Rushmore, Bottle Rocket, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic, and the Darjeeling Limited, I realized that with each new Wes Anderson film, my heart feels a little bit more whole. Cheers to you, Wes.


3. Stanley Kubrick

So Kubrick is an obvious choice, yes. Some may say cliche, but when we actually list all of his films together (Clockwork Orange, 2001: Space Odyssey, The Shining, Spartacus, Dr. Strangelove) it just cannot be denied that this man is in and of himself a piece of cinematic history, and possibly a raging psychopath. A child with a bent index finger and creepy voice haunts my dreams still and the language of Clockwork Orange has disturbingly infiltrated our own. If Wes Anderson pulls at my heartstrings, then Stanley Kubrick pokes at my inner-maniac. Plus, can I just say in closing: Eyes Wide Shut= Crazy!


2. Martin Scorsese

I know it's a bit ballsy to put just anybody on this list before Alfred Hitchcock, but Marty is not just anybody. No, by all accounts he is one of the most innovative and stylish filmmakers in our lifetime.The Aviator, Gangs of New York, Taxi Driver, and The Departed are fabulous, gritty and character-driven to the point of insanity. And if you're looking for nostalgia and pure Bob Dylan beauty try No Direction Home on for size.

1. Alfred Hitchcock


This man had a talent for fulfilling all of our cinematic dreams in a classic and terrifying way. Psycho is one of my all-time favorite movies. People have revered his work since the 1930's but people like me discover his genius every day. If you haven't seen North by Northwest or The Birds I am delighted for you because you get to experience seeing them for the first time! Go on, you crazy kids, this your time! Alfred Hitchcock will change your view on what movies can be.

The List of Potent Pitchmen

On Day 1151 of his retreading of Groundhog Day, Phil Connors had just about had it. Not because Sonny and Cher serenaded him each and every morning. Not because he had to cover Punxatawney Phil's shadow discovery for the umpteenth time. Not because multiple suicide attempts were of no avail. It was because the first person he encountered everyday on Punxatawney's Main Avenue was Ned Ryerson, the grating insurance pitchman that suddenly met Phil's fist of fury after one sales pitch too many. Nowadays, when viewing audiences surf their TV lineup, there is not a commercial break that hasn't been infiltrated by a pitchman touting the next innovation in cooking, cleaning, or fitness. Without further ado, television's most potent pitchmen, invading your next episode of Cops.


5. Giuseppe Franco
You know you've made it when Gary Busey is the hit celebrity on your clientele list. I introduce to you Mr. Franco, the man who 'wouldn't put his name on the line for something that didn't work.' Propecia users: your Independence Day has arrived. Throw out all of those silly ball caps and twice-daily regimens, because Procede is the last hair restorative product you'll ever need. As the pitchman behind Procede, a product he doesn't even use, Giuseppe Franco endorses a commodity that reduces 'the appearance of thinning hair.' Unlike Rogaine, Procede does not promote hair growth in dead follicles. Instead, it makes your scalp look renewed and thick, giving you newfound confidence to put the moves on that cute blonde you keep running into in the grocery section of the Stop and Shop. Giuseppe, you have given guys suffering from male-pattern baldness a new lease on life. All at the low low price of $360.00 for three months. Get the risk-free, 30-day trial now for a mere $19.95! (NOTE: Of all arbitrary figures to decide on, 19.95 was the one every made-for-television product agency went with; it's the prerequisite for anything sold on television....plus $4.95 shipping and handling).


4. John Basedow
Between the hours of 12:00 and 2:00 PM, sports fanatics looking for their daily Sportscenter fix shall endure the latest craze in physique shaping: John Basedow's Fitness Made Simple, a miniature infomercial that is guaranteed to force itself into every commercial break. Not even the 2004 tsunami could halt the awesome build of Basedow, who forced all fitness fanatics to toss their 30 Minute Ab tapes to the wayside. It would appear Fitness Made Simple worked wonders on Basedow's torso, but the tape's full body workout did nothing for his scrawny little chicken legs. If disproportionality is what you seek, Fitness Made Simple is the product for you. Additionally, once you're rocking those rock-hard abs, put a little product in to highlight your hair, 'cause if it works for Basedow, you know it can work for you!


3. Tony Little
Of all ad pitchmen to warrant your attention, Tony Little will be the one to yell at you the most, rehashing the phrases,"You can do it!" and "Technique, technique!" for your listening pleasure. Peddling products like the dexterous Gazelle, Little will lure you with a ponytail that yuppies of yesteryear would envy. If the dazzling hair isn't enough, then Tony's unbridled enthusiasm is sure to capture your heart. Like a meth addict under the influence of one too many fixes, Little pops off the screen with an advertising persona that Body by Jake only wishes he could replicate. The self-proclaimed "America's Personal Trainer" has all that you need to shed those pounds and keep them off, one spasmodic gyration at a time.


2. Billy Mays
What puts this ad pitchman ahead of the rest is the plethora of products Billy Mays has to offer. Oxi Clean. Orange Glo. Mighty Putty. The Ding King. The Samurai Shark. Despite the spread of guaranteed-to-work-or-your-money-back products, only one (if that) works to perfection. Instead of Just for Men beard darkening product, Billy Mays Oxi-Cleaned the hell out of his beard and looks damn good doing it. If you want that pesky indent out of your Chevy Impala, Ding King will more than likely do more damage than your ride originally started with. In addition, if pulling a tractor trailer with links of Mighty Putty is what you've got in mind, then sidle up to your man Billy Mays; he'll be sure to impart on you a load of crap you have no room for in your kitchen cabinet.


1. Richard Simmons
Richard Simmons: the model by which all pitchmen must follow if they want long-standing impact on the hearts of 60-something consumers everywhere. Sweatin' to the Oldies, Volumes I through VII pulls their spandex trunks down and defecates on every Windsor Pilates instructional tape that Daisy Fuentes pawns off on the new-age, yoga-crazed fitness gurus of the 21st century. I mean, come on! Hold an uncomfortable pose for 10 minutes or get jiggy to a calisthenically invigorating version of Fats Domino's The Twist? And Jenny Craig? What does your program have that Simmons's Deal a Meal doesn't? Richard Simmons has more financial clout in his right pinky than all fellow pitchmen combined. Nobody, and I mean nobody, can pull off glitter-encrusted spandex the way Simmons can--so elegant and so sheek, with a permed-out 'fro to complement the entire get-up. In the words of one V-List contributor, Mr. Simmons is Jewlicious, bringin' back the oldies like no fitness celebrity can!