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5. “Step into the light, Carol Anne.” - the creepy ghost whisperer in The
Poltergeist
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Unless eternity in a fourth-dimension of ghouls and ghosts is your idea of a good time, step into the light and free yourself from the clutches of a cult-driven, maniacal preacher. Mind you, Carol Anne got herself in grave danger by passing through a television screen in the first place. If bizarre images percolating from a television set have taught us anything (see The Ring), it's that you don't, under any circumstances, answer the beckoning of a spirit-driven entertainment box that wants you dead.
4. “You [just] dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a f----n' education you coulda' got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library.” - Will
Hunting in Good Will Hunting
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Here's the scene. Pompous ass walks into a bar. This tool of textbook regurgitation pawns off ideas on colonial American economic systems as pick-up lines used so uncouthly on unsuspecting chicks. A wise, albeit cocky, prodigy intercedes, dropping serious knowledge on finances that could have been better spent elsewhere. There you have it, uninspired Harvard grad: you just got served by a 40 oz.-toting orphan from Southie; how you like THEM apples?
3. “Leave the guns. Take the canolis.” - Clemenza in The Godfather
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You've just committed homicide in cold blood (that wise guy had it coming, though!). Now, you have a predicament on your hands: the murder devices used to whack Paulie remain in your possession. Here's the answer: dump them off in Paulie's car and take some desserts to fill your belly on the way back to meet the Don. Problem solved; the heat is completely off you, allowing for the enjoyment of some Italian-pastry goodness. Bellissimo!
2. “If you only knew the power of the Dark Side of the Force.” - The Emperor in Return of the Jedi
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Consider this, Luke Skywalker. Your father is a cyborg and Emperor Palpatine's face looks like moldy coffee cake. All of this transpired in the name of the "Dark Side." That is no life for you. Now wield that green lightsaber of yours and take these bitches OUT!
1. “Don’t cross the streams.” - Egon Spengler in Ghostbusters
Chances are, you'll never don a 125,000 BTU-pumping proton pack. In the event you do, never allow the streams that pulse from your proton gun to come in contact with the frantic stream from
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2 comments:
Informative and somehow disturbing all the same. I always turn off my television when the spirits come and tempt me to enter another dimension. Nice post, I'm going to HULK out tonight at a BBQ. I'm taking my own advice from Top 5 things to do with Memorial Day weekend.
don't feed the magwai after midnight, and don't get him wet. else, gremlins, my friends. frickin' gremlins
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