Welcome Back! Fall Must See TV

Hello everybody, it's so great to be back. We took a brief hiatus to straighten out our personal and professional lives, but rest assured the V List is back in action to bring you the best mental drivel on the Internet. Before I spew my mental garbage allow me to take the time and say how much we appreciate our readership. Despite our absence, many of you have faithfully come to the site to check up on our authors and thanks to Google analytics, your patronage has not gone unnoticed. We love our readers, and appreciate your support. With that said, let's get back to business. Much like our website, Hollywood went into a brief hibernation for summer, but now it's back with a vengeance. With so many new shows flooding the airwaves, we've picked five shows your DVR simply must record when it comes to prime time TV. The envelope please...

5. How I met your Mother

Like a fine wine, this show keeps getting better and better. For those fortunate enough to watch the season opener with a Star Wars theme, you know what I'm talking about. I always wanted to know how people understood the talking bear in Star Wars. Thankfully How I Met Your Mother delivers the answers.

4. Dexter

Spoiler Alert: After blowing up Dokes, how can you top season 2? Showtime seeks to answer that question with the third season of the lovable psychopath. If you haven't yet acquainted yourself with Dexter (and I'm not talking about the watered down crap CBS pawns off on viewers) then what are you waiting for? Do you really want to be the only one standing around the water-cooler that doesn't have a clue?

3. Kitchen Nightmares

This is the only reality show to make the list because it has all the right ingredients for a great TV show. Drama, heartbreak, and sass are cooked to perfection by Chef Gordon Ramsey. Don't be turned off by his other Fox reality show, this one is legit. Ramsey visits troubled eateries and shows why he truly is an iron chef. Warning to viewers, when you see some of these restaurants, you may think twice about ordering out next time.

2. Fringe

It the X-files for a new generation, and it's got Pacey from Dawson's Creek. Just when I thought I hated the FOX network, they go and make me love them again. Bravo J.J., you have another hit on your hands, and unlike Cloverfield, this one doesn't give me motion sickness.

1. Entourage

Who needs Sex in the City on DVD when you have this show? Jeremy Piven just won his millionth Emmy for his portrayal of Ari Gold, and despite a gloomy season finale last year, the crew is back and better than ever. Thank god Vince shaved his beard, he was beginning to look like Grisley Adams. Aquaman is Back!

Facebook called, and you're application is pissing them off!

Facebook has taken the world by storm because of its ability to keep in touch with people while creating a digital signature of your own. It is kinda creepy that you can learn virtually everything about your friends within seconds, thanks to minute by minute updates of their profile. Additionally, there are other applications that are created by third party developers which will try the patience of even the most peaceful individuals. In this list we pay tribute to the applications this author would like to see eradicated from the Facebook application catalogue.


5. The Entourage Application


While virtually every fan of the show is bound to organize their own Entourage of friends, it is a bit far reaching to think that one person could "roll with" over two hundred individuals. There are few people of historical significance that "rolled" with hundred of people simultaneously, and if one is comparing himself with Jesus, Gandhi, or Louis XVI, then they are delusional. I have no problem with this application, but seriously it should be limited since nobody travels, eats, and arrives with over two hundred people to one place with regularity.




4. Lil' Green Garden Patches


Stop sending me plants for a fictitious garden patch. Also, please stop sending me "pieces of flare" and fish for a fake aquarium. I hate accumulating garbage trinkets in real life, let alone allow them to clutter up my Facebook page. Some people really dig these applications, but I don't understand them. What is the allure of the garden patch? Is it aesthetically pleasing, or does it make one feel good that somebody thought enough of them to send them a fake plant? I guess it's the thought that counts.




3. What ________ character are you?


When I first arrived in the Facebook community I was drawn into these faux tests which can correctly predict what character you would be on your favorite show/movie from a questionnaire. After completing approximately two of these assessments, I realized what a pile of dung they were. Any twit with half a brain can manufacture the outcome of the test to say whatever it is they desire. Very few males want to be diagnosed as Marge from the Simpson's test, so they will fudge a few answers to become Homer or Bart. They should rename these applications "what character from ___________ would you like to be?"

2. The "V" List Live Feed Widget

The V List widget could be the biggest pile of trash in the Facebook application catalogue. In fact, it could easily be the number one on this list, but it pisses me off slightly less than the next entry. This widget took about fifteen minutes to customize using a combination of two websites and some html language. The final product was an application that will not run automatically when the page loads up. It shows that the widget is a movie (which in fact it is not) and then asks the person to click play. Upon clicking on the widget it will take you to another page where a 3 inch widget is set in the middle of a gigantic page, and has a feed of our articles and movies. What a rip off! Facebook should give me the freedom to at least develop an aesthetically pleasing widget that works. Curse you and you half assed developers kit, because now my application is being listed by some site in the blogosphere as one of the worst on Facebook.


1. Mob Wars


I am all about online gaming, however please don't pretend Mob Wars or Vampire Slayer are games, because they are not. There are thousands of other flash games that would be better suited for Facebook, but these two "games" are the most annoying applications out there. I don't mind people sending me invites, but at this point, I could literally be in about 15-20 different "families" if I had clicked the accept button. As a student of Godfather and Goodfellas, I would have been whacked several times over for betraying the advice of Michael Corleone. Everybody knows you never go against the family, something which I would have done some fourteen times over. I also tried vampire hunting and superheroes, but those "games" become equally mundane after a week. I you want to play some serious games, look me up on xbox live and we can do some real damage. As for the Facebook crap that they call entertainment. I'll pass.

Made for TV: The Small Screen's Preeminent Roles

As of late, television has hardly hit a dry spell, when you consider awe-inspiring shows like Friday Night Lights and Jericho have either met its demise or is in the process of reaching extinction. As luck would have it, television audiences of the twenty-first century have been blessed with a plethora of remarkable characters, some of whom will not be making this list (Dwight Schrute from The Office, Dr. Bailey and The Chief from Grey's Anatomy, and Nancy Botwin from Weeds). The following list is dedicated to the best characters created for modern-day television (apologies to the Tony Sopranos of the small screen: the roles adopted here are for shows that currently manufacture fresh episodes). The envelope, please....

5. How I Met Your Mother's Barney Stinson

"This is gonna be LEG-END-...wait for it...-ARY!"

Everyone has a soft spot in their hearts for Doogie Howser, M.D., but Neil Patrick Harris flipped the script by (1) portraying a coke-head version of himself in Harold and Kumar and (2) playing the ladies' man every guy wants to be, even at the expense of 'suiting up' for the smallest of life's tasks. Barney is the consummate wingman and casanova, even if he does suffer from Peter Pan-syndrome (admit it--you'd attempt to bring back laser tag too, if it were fashionable). Convincing your wife to get a pimp pad like Barney's is as elusive as the search for the Holy Grail, but how kick ass would a Manhattan apartment be, fit with a statue of a stormtrooper guarding the entrance? Barney: the life you lead is every man's fantasy, even if the man portraying you is in fact gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).

4. House's Dr. Gregory House

Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up.

Dr. House: Yeah. And dogs should stop licking themselves. It's not gonna happen.

House's persona brings to light the age-old question: would you rather have a doctor with impeccable bedside manner (sans the know-how) or a physician who always gets things right, even if it means berating you Shakespearean-style? House is a character whose brusque facade betrays his emotions; there isn't an episode in the series where you are not left riveted and appalled, and it has everything to do with Hugh Lawrie's outstanding portrayal of the doc whose caustic wit keeps you coming back for more.

3. LOST's Benjamin Linus

"Karl. Now if you're gonna sleep with my daughter, I insist you call me Ben."

I'm just going to go out there and say it: Benjamin Linus is the best villain created for a television series. Ever. And with LOST's most recent turn of events, his actions force you to sympathize with his cause to keep the island safe. You questioned his motives as Henry Gale and by season three, Benjamin reared his ugly head as the villain above which all lesser villains cower in fear.

2. Entourage's Ari Gold

"Let's hug it out, BITCHES."

The immaculate asshole agent. Jeremy Piven compiled several Emmys in the name of Mr. Ari Gold, a character who gives you substantial reason to re-up your subscription to HBO for the autumn season. Conduct a YouTube search on Ari and you'll bust a gut through all the incessant laughter you've just put yourself through. Piven owned the film PCU, but completely comes into his own through all his character does for the sake of Vinny Chase and his hilarious sidekick Lloyd. Here's hoping Medellin didn't pan too badly.

1. Dexter's Dexter Morgan

"Blood. Sometimes it sets my teeth on edge, other times it helps me control the chaos."

I tore through the 24-episode, two-season-long gorefest that was Dexter, all for the sake of the nuances behind the program's title character. What ideals did Harry wish to inculcate on his adopted son? Has Dexter fully lived up to Harry's code of ethics? Is Dex the sex-hungry killer after a piece of Lila or a misunderstood vigilante after Rita's heart? These questions merely scratch the surface regarding television's most complex character. Do yourself a favor and sign up for a subscription to Showtime--it'll be worth your while for the savoring of Dexter's character alone.