5. Sen. Richard Shelby: "700 Billion! Do you realize how many Big Mac's you can get for that kind of money?!"
4. Nancy Pelosi: " Another 700 Billion dollars worth of work and Gretta Van Susteren's face will look normal."
3. John McCain: "But what if they have weapons of mass destruction? We should invade AIG!"
2. George W. Bush: "Fu^$ing January can't come soon enough!"
1. Barack Obama: "Holy Sh*@, now that's a lot of Change!"